Kissing frogs

A heart break 

The rain on your parade

After the rain

The frogs come out first

Hopping to catch your heart

Do you have to kiss frogs 

To find a prince?

Where does love hide when it rains

The frogs hop on the ground

Hopping to catch your heart

But love has wings

It swoops your heart up 

So keep your gaze up 

That is where love is. 

It's the rainbow after the rain 

A portrait of your soul

The color of your aura painted in the sky

That time

That time 

When you see the cloud of despair hanging over you

And you are trying so hard to find that silver lining 

And not let that cloud rain down on you 

And dampen your spirit  

Deep breaths 

Deep sighs

How do you spin gold from what looks like a pile of straw? 

How do you paint a rainbow when every thing seems black and white?

How to you find a melody when your soul feels out of tune?

How to you get a positive charge in a negative environment

Where do you find a friend when there is  none who stands beside you 

You open your mind so that you learn to see with your eyes closed 

Fall on the straw and you will not hit the hard ground

The aura of your spirit  is not black and white 

Find your color and paint your world red, blue, or yellow

The world had its own heart beat 

Listen to your own

And dance to the  rhythm of your own spirit

Remember that no friend is better than one who pretends

And be the positive charge in a negative environment. 

My kindred spirit

I was tired of being with company

Yet feeling so alone

Of attractions that fades like pastels in the wind

Likes that turned to disappointment 

Excitement that fizzled with the first kiss

Longing to find a heart that matched my passion

When just holding hands and taking long walks was the perfect date

I was tired of undefined relationships 

That emotional roller coaster 

My mind had grown weary 

Until one came along

Who moved his world to make room for me

I was impressed by the effort

He defined our relationship

It was to be a marriage 

I was intrigued by his boldness

comforted by the security of a defined relationship

I thought finally 

I am off the emotional roller coaster 

I can put my feet on the ground

My head can stop spinning

My heart can settle 

I have found the one I was looking for

But this happy ever after was missing one thing

Me

I was not in the picture 

I was someone who was looking for someone before I found myself

I was looking for someone to fill the void in my heart 

When my own spirit should have filed that void

That day I said yes to the greatest mistake of my life

The mistake was not being with the wrong  person

It was running away from my self

By riding that emotional roller coaster 

And when I was tired of the highs and lows

I settled for the second best thing

Someone else 

Because I was at my lowest point 

Living in the shadow

Just like a moth 

I was drawm to the faintest glow of light 

Like a moth

I circled around it, just that, circled 

Endlessly

Going nowhere,

I had settled around a lamp

Because I was at my lowest point

Living in the shadow of my insecurities

I settled for the second best thing

Someone else

When I should have settled for the first 

Myself

That time in the shadows

Was the time to grow into my self

Filling the void in my heart with my own spirit

Lighting the candle within me

Perfecting my aura

Because When my light is at its brightest

Then I would clearly see who I am 

Then I will attract the one 

Who is my perfect match

My kindred spirit 

You do not put my light out

Because their light 

Will glow just as bright as mine

 

I labored

May the name of the LORD be blessed!" 

Nine months risking my own to give a life

Not once but five 

Hours I labored to bring forth life

Not one but thirty five

Nights I lay wake without sleep

Not one but too many

Watching my body reshape

My hair thin out 

My emotions so frail 

But my spirit was fierce

The love of a mother

holding in her arms and 

Gazing into the eyes of the gift of life, 

Asking for nothing but the strength to love them more

Yet you, who was to make me feel secure as I risked my life,  

Tore down my walls with your unkind words

Yet you,who was to ease my pain as I labored, drove a knife through my heart with your actions,

Yet you, who was to give me rest after sleepless nights, 

Burdened me with a heavy heart.

Nine months risking my own to give a life

Not once but five 

Hours I labored to bring forth life

Not one but thirty five

A labor of love that you failed to appreciate  

A gift from God you shall not scorn

The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed!

Do you want to leave?

Then he opened the gates of mercy

And I heard His voice speak 

through the heart of a man

Of justice and peace

Do you want to leave ?

To Leave behind,

Thirteen years of false hope

Twelve years of affliction 

Eleven years of frustration 

Ten years of loneliness

Nine years of sorrow 

Eight years of self doubt 

Seven years of anger

Six years of regret

Four years of sadness

Three years of loss

Two years of fatigue

A year of lost dreams

Do you want to leave behind,

Your fears and find your courage?

You will not know where you will go from here,

But do you want to leave?

And that was the turning moment,

When,"I have to stay," became

"I can leave,"

Yes,I will go with you...

Pain

Sometimes you have to go through pain to conform to change 

When you must let go 

Of the only thing that you know 

And at times change relieves us from pain 

When the thorn in your side is taken out

Either way 

You need to stick through it

to become stronger

Because pain is just a flesh wound 

Testing the endurance of your spirit

So when your flesh aches and your head pounds

Reach deep within you and learn to think the right way;

spirit over mind, and mind over body

So that your transformation is not a white wash

But a manifestation of the spirit within,

Your will to heal.

It's cold outside

It was cold in my heart,

It was a lonely house,

With dreams covered in dust.

The music that played,

Was hope that beat with a faint pulse.

You knocked at my door,

I had no desire to answer.

You looked into my heart

through the dark window,

That kept the sun from shining in.

It was cold in my heart,

I sat beside a cold fireplace,

My spirit could not ignite the flame.

You walked in from the woods,

With firewood in one arm and a warm cover in another.

You showed a heart that promised to light the fire,

Gentle hands that promised to strum the cord of my heart,

And play the rhythm of my soul.

I let you stay a while,

When you placed the cover over my shoulders,

When you laid the wood in the fireplace,

When you turned on turned on the kettle, for a cup to warm my blood.

I gave up my key,

and let you move in to my heart.

Then I closed my eyes,

So that I could dream again, 

But you took the cover,

And pulled the wool over my eyes,

And lit a fire to burn my dreams.

You held my key,

And changed the locks,

I could not get out,

no one could come in,

Little red riding hood,

Closed in a cupboard.

Gratel, lost in the woods.

Rapanzel, locked up in a tower.

Snow White in a slumber.

Your apology

I do not need your apology when you do me wrong

Because your apology does not make me whole

For I was me before there was you 

I was myself before there was us

Yes I was before we were

I was already whole

Give an apology to make yourself whole

For when you do me wrong

You take away from your character

When you do me wrong 

You fragment your integrity 

Your apology is to heal your character

And to restore your integrity 

Because character is what builds relationships 

I do not need your apology when you do me wrong 

I need my good spirit 

So that I can forgive you

And let you move on

Sands of time

The passion of a dream

Shifts the sands of time 

To build the castle of your dreams

On the white sandy shore 

When the storm sets in  

The wind blows away the dust within

When the tide rises

It washes the jewels of the sea ashore 

When the sun shines

The sands sparkle like glitter in the sand

The passion of a dream

Shifts the sands of time 

Building a castle in the air 

Because your dreams have wings 

The passion of a dream 

Shifts the sands of time

Building a castle on the rocks

Because your dreams have roots 

That are as deep as the waters below 

The sands of time fall softly in the hour glass 

As you spin straw into gold.

???

Stranger to myself

My spirit is a ghost

A life in search of a resting place

Thirsty and weary

Detached from my mind 

But inhibiting my body  

Challenging my feelings 

I stay in limbo 

Trying to find myself

Yet running further away  

How can I find myself 

When I do not know who I am

How do I embrace a stranger

When I do not know myself?

Infinity

So you say you are looking for someone to fulfill you,

But the fact is,

you are looking to find yourself, because in your weakness,you cannot open your own eyes and see yourself whole,

So you look for one whose strength in spirit can project your image;

When you look into their eyes,

You want to see your reflection,

When their heart opens,

You want to see the love they hold for you,

When their arms hold you,

You want to feel how close they need to be with you ,

In their kiss,

You want to feel the depth of their longing,

When you make love,

You want to experience infinity,

Because that is how you see your self

Without a beginning or an end.

When you find the one who fulfills you,

You have found yourself,

your balance,

Your ying or yang; a kindred spirit.

So the first place to begin,

when you are searching for one who fulfill you,

Is to embrace yourself first,

your positive and negative energies,

Then master the forces that will move you forward or hold you back 

from finding yourself.

Catching my breath

I can barley hold myself up

Or keep myself together,

I am raffled,a bag in the wind,

My hope, tossed beyond my reach.

I breath,but cannot feel the wind move through my lungs.

I am awake, yet not living,

tears, they cloud my eyes

and I stumble on my own feet.

this helpless feeling,

as I watch the fading color of a dream, 

I want to speak, with no words to  express my heart,

It is crushed,

A dream crumbles, 

But falls heavy on my head,

With a sense of impending doom 

I hold my breath.

My head, heavy on my shoulders 

needing a break, just to catch my breath  

I breath, but cannot feel wind going through my lungs

I hold my breath

But I need to exhale.

Love finds you

The love that finds you is the kind of love that stays with you,

 lives in you 

and surrounds you.

It does not exhaust your soul 

Because you do not chase after it

It comes to you  

And lays your soul to rest 

A love that lays with you 

And rises with you

It reads your soul 

And answers questions that you have not yet asked 

Because it hears your voice

It understand the rhythm of your heart beat

the kind of friend who can finish what you start and start what you can finish

Yking and yang

A tango of two souls

Dancing to the rhythm that is not composed by another 

The sound of a melody of strings  

Strumed with fingers intertwined

Walking hand in hand 

With the step of one heart

Yet two people 

Hand in hand

Yet left and right

Heart to heart

Yet ying and yang

Three wishes 

I -love - you

A world in four dimensions 

You, I , hope and the universe

Heartbeat

When you have children

Your heart beats outside your body

It has a pulse that skips a beat each time they stumble

It races with each triumphant cry

Your arms are ready to catch them

when the truth of life challenges their naivety and cause them to stumble over their own feet 

When they hurt, your heart bleeds 

When they fall your prayers pick them up

Their laughter are the bells that chime in your heart 

When you have children

You learn to let go of what you want

For what they need

My Happy place

I know a happy place

A quiet place

It begins within

With a Word 

just a whisper

A spark that flickers in my soul

igniting my spirit into a roaring flame

that floats a deflated dream

Like a hot air ballon 

I  rise up

When I look below

I see over the mountains 

And across the valleys

I see my way 

When I look up

my dreams are the stars that light up the darkness

This is my happy place

Where my mind is free 

To express what gives me joy

In my happy place

I do not sit by the phone

I dance to the rhythm of my heart beat

and the one I dance with

tunes into my spirit 

and sings my song

It is abuse

It is not just a slap nor is it just a name

It is abuse

and you should not have to take any

So I get slap in the face

And you are called a name

So I am beaten up with a hand 

And you are beaten down with words

So you have counted a year 

And I have counted thirteen

your pain is not less than mine

When you cry in silence 

And I cry out loud

Your tears are just as salty as mine 

And just as wet

When you dry your eyes 

And mine run down my neck

It is abuse

When sharp words cut your soul

And a hand cuts my flesh

My body has scars 

And your scars are marked on your soul

You do not take in less 

and I do not take in more

Because the heart still breaks the same way and the spirit burns out

You reach out for bread

And you get a stone

I thirst for water

But I drink vinegar

The hunger is the same.

A man with honor

A man with honor is confident and yet not proud,

His humility serves him well in honoring a woman.

A man without honor is proud,

he is foolish to dishonor a woman in serving himself.

A man with honor is attractive,

For he knows how to respectfully get what he needs from a woman.

The respect she gives him is earned and not demanded,

She comes to him with an open heart, because he holds out an open hand 

and holds her close to his heart.

A man without honor is unattractive,

He has a woman but not her heart,

Her closed heart cannot yield respect,

So he demands her respect with a closed fist,

A hand to subdue her at his feet.

A man with honor stands tall,

for beside him is a woman who is a pillar of strength,

For her love for him is strong.

A man without honor leans on his arrogance,

For beneath him is a woman too weak from carrying the burden of his pride.

A man with honor holds a woman up

For he takes down her walls to set her heart free

A man without honor hold a woman down 

For he builds walls around her and his ego consumes her.

a good breakup

Why can we not have a good breakup?

You will not threaten me to stay,

And I will not threaten to leave,

Let's hold the door for each other,

As we walk out together,

And part our way,

Because the room that we shared,

That heart that kept us together,

Is now too small to hold both our dreams,

Let us move out without burning the house down,

By not breaking each other's heart, 

And breaking each other's dreams,

Let us move out together,

Without leaving the other behind,

Let us leave the lights on and the door open,

So that either one of us,

Is free to come back,

to the place that we once shared,

And still find fond memories on the walls,

And a warm rug near an open fire,

The place that we once shared should not be a lonely room,  

Because in our hearts,

We hold each other in friendship.

Fish bowl

You hold your dreams in a jar,

You guard them like a treasure,

Wrapping your arms around  them,

watching them with glee,

Like a gold fish you contain them,

You fear to let go,

Because your dreams are bigger than yourself,

And demand higher expectations,

But like a fish in a bowl,

your dreams remain as small as you keep your mind closed,

As shallow as you keep your feet on the ground,

And as low as you look down upon yourself

Look up 

Let your mind see

For your dreams are bigger than yourself,

Because they are your spirit,

Which is bigger than the fish in the bowl,

Have courage

let go

Your dreams have wings to fly,

and needs to soar.

Love notes

Unresolved emotions

Questions looking for answers 

The stress that weighs on my shoulders and in my head 

I empty my mind

I think not of myself

I feel lonely

Desperate for someone to hold me 

and remind me of who I am 

To see in me what I cannot

I hold my breath

but I find none

who reminds me to breath out 

So I burn the wick of my candle until the wax puts it out

I hold the match until it burns my fingers

I sit in darkness 

I think until my mind hurts and my flesh aches

Yet my spirit does not burn out

But rages on like a roaring flame

Licking every corner of my mind

Burning down the walls that close my mind

Connecting me with the universe that feeds my soul

The universe embraces me

and a light flikers in my mind

I see the depth of my soul

There lies the wisdom that speaks to me

Words of life

Flowing in a rhythm that syncs mind body and spirit 

Taming my raging emotions 

Creating harmony with chaos

Restoring order from within

Calming my mind

Relaxing my body 

Directing my path to a resting place

There I will sleep

Her words a lullaby 

Her love notes

Serenade my soul in quiet meditation