Friday, January 1, 2016

My kindred spirit

I was tired of being with company
Yet feeling so alone
Of attractions that fades like pastels in the wind
Likes that turned to disappointment 
Excitement that fizzled with the first kiss
Longing to find a heart that matched my passion
When just holding hands and taking long walks was the perfect date
I was tired of undefined relationships 
That emotional roller coaster 
My mind had grown weary 
Until one came along
Who moved his world to make room for me
I was impressed by the effort
He defined our relationship
It was to be a marriage 
I was intrigued by his boldness
comforted by the security of a defined relationship
I thought finally 
I am off the emotional roller coaster 
I can put my feet on the ground
My head can stop spinning
My heart can settle 
I have found the one I was looking for
But this happy ever after was missing one thing
Me
I was not in the picture 
I was someone who was looking for someone before I found myself
I was looking for someone to fill the void in my heart 
When my own spirit should have filed that void
That day I said yes to the greatest mistake of my life
The mistake was not being with the wrong  person
It was running away from my self
By riding that emotional roller coaster 
And when I was tired of the highs and lows
I settled for the second best thing
Someone else 
Because I was at my lowest point 
Living in the shadow
Just like a moth 
I was drawm to the faintest glow of light 
Like a moth
I circled around it, just that, circled 
Endlessly
Going nowhere,
I had settled around a lamp
Because I was at my lowest point
Living in the shadow of my insecurities
I settled for the second best thing
Someone else
When I should have settled for the first 
Myself
That time in the shadows
Was the time to grow into my self
Filling the void in my heart with my own spirit
Lighting the candle within me
Perfecting my aura
Because When my light is at its brightest
Then I would clearly see who I am 
Then I will attract the one 
Who is my perfect match
My kindred spirit
Because their light 
Will glow just as bright as mine


 





Tuesday, December 29, 2015

I labored

May the name of the LORD be blessed!" 
Nine months risking my own to give a life
Not once but five 
Hours I labored to bring forth life
Not one but thirty five
Nights I lay wake without sleep
Not one but too many
Watching my body reshape
My hair thin out 
My emotions so frail 
But my spirit was fierce
The love of a mother
holding in her arms and 
Gazing into the eyes of the gift of life, 
Asking for nothing but the strength to love them more
Yet you, who was to make me feel secure as I risked my life,  
Tore down my walls with your unkind words
Yet you,who was to ease my pain as I labored, drove a knife through my heart with your actions,
Yet you, who was to give me rest after sleepless nights, 
Burdened me with a heavy heart.
Nine months risking my own to give a life
Not once but five 
Hours I labored to bring forth life
Not one but thirty five
A labor of love that you failed to appreciate  
A gift from God you shall not scorn
The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. May the name of the LORD be blessed!







Do you want to leave?


Then he opened the gates of mercy
And I heard His voice speak 
through the heart of a man
Of justice and peace
Do you want to leave ?
To Leave behind,
Thirteen years of false hope
Twelve years of affliction 
Eleven years of frustration 
Ten years of loneliness
Nine years of sorrow 
Eight years of self doubt 
Seven years of anger
Six years of regret
Four years of sadness
Three years of loss
Two years of fatigue
A year of lost dreams
Do you want to leave behind,
Your fears and find your courage?
You will not know where you will go from here,
But do you want to leave?
And that was the turning moment,
When,"I have to stay," became
"I can leave,"
Yes,I will go with you...



Monday, December 21, 2015

Pain

Sometimes you have to go through pain to conform to change 
When you must let go 
Of the only thing that you know 
And at times change relieves us from pain 
When the thorn in your side is taken out
Either way 
You need to stick through it
to become stronger
Because pain is just a flesh wound 
Testing the endurance of your spirit
So when your flesh aches and your head pounds
Reach deep within you and learn to think the right way;
spirit over mind, and mind over body
So that your transformation is not a white wash
But a manifestation of the spirit within,
Your will to heal.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

It's cold outside

It was cold in my heart,
It was a lonely house,
With dreams covered in dust.
The music that played,
Was hope that beat with a faint pulse.
You knocked at my door,
I had no desire to answer.
You looked into my heart
through the dark window,
That kept the sun from shining in.
It was cold in my heart,
I sat beside a cold fireplace,
My spirit could not ignite the flame.
You walked in from the woods,
With firewood in one arm and a warm cover in another.
You showed a heart that promised to light the fire,
Gentle hands that promised to strum the cord of my heart,
And play the rhythm of my soul.
I let you stay a while,
When you placed the cover over my shoulders,
When you laid the wood in the fireplace,
When you turned on turned on the kettle, for a cup to warm my blood.
I gave up my key,
and let you move in to my heart.
Then I closed my eyes,
So that I could dream again, 
But you took the cover,
And pulled the wool over my eyes,
And lit a fire to burn my dreams.
You held my key,
And changed the locks,
I could not get out,
no one could come in,
Little red riding hood,
Closed in a cupboard.
Gratel, lost in the woods.
Rapanzel, locked up in a tower.
Snow White in a slumber.












Saturday, November 28, 2015

Your apology

I do not need your apology when you do me wrong
Because your apology does not make me whole
For I was me before there was you 
I was myself before there was us
Yes I was before we were
I was already whole
Give an apology to make yourself whole
For when you do me wrong
You take away from your character
When you do me wrong 
You fragment your integrity 
Your apology is to heal your character
And to restore your integrity 
Because character is what builds relationships 
I do not need your apology when you do me wrong 
I need my good spirit 
So that I can forgive you
And let you move on


Friday, November 27, 2015

Sands of time


The passion of a dream
Shifts the sands of time 
To build the castle of your dreams
On the white sandy shore 
When the storm sets in  
The wind blows away the dust within
When the tide rises
It washes the jewels of the sea ashore 
When the sun shines
The sands sparkle like glitter in the sand
The passion of a dream
Shifts the sands of time 
Building a castle in the air 
Because your dreams have wings 
The passion of a dream 
Shifts the sands of time
Building a castle on the rocks
Because your dreams have roots 
That are as deep as the waters below 
The sands of time fall softly in the hour glass 
As you spin straw into gold.
???